When the angel becomes unmanageable bully

When the angel becomes unmanageable bully

Modern moms can learn a lot about the right upbringing of the child and to find advice on almost any question on the Internet, it would wish. But if you are reading this article, then you have it. So, I want to share my experience and give some advice to those parents whose child has already celebrated its second anniversary.

Surely you have noticed that in two years the kids behave more than pleasant for parents and others. They already know a lot to do it themselves and even help loved ones begin to eat, partially dress and undress, learn to Express their thoughts and suggestions may have some time to play without adult. When my baby reached that age, I was happy, there was much time to do it, gladly went with him to the shops and was so happy that I'm growing such an angel. But just after 4-5 months, angel became to be stubborn, to sulk and show his "I", first with her husband, and then all others. He began the crisis of three years.

Lest he become stubborn bully, had to seek opinions from friends moms and experts on the crisis of the third year. Pay attention to what is right to speak this way and not the crisis of three years, as many. Because this time begins after 2 years, and the peak of the crisis period, according to scientists, accounts for 2.5-3 years. This age was called and I know parents whose children have crossed the age of 2.5 years. Of course, these figures are conditional, and the development of each baby is unique. However, in this article I'll use both phrases as synonyms.

What two words in it?

When the angel becomes unmanageable bully

Everyone understands that children sometimes tend to misbehave, to act up. So how to distinguish the crisis from the Caprice? Let's start simple, with Caprice – a sudden, spontaneous desire to do something. For example, a child asks in the store machine, he don't buy it, he gets upset, cries, but soon forgets about it and wants to get a candy bar or something. If you give it to him – everything is fine. The crisis is a dramatic behaviour change and difficult transition period is more difficult. To overcome it, you will need patience and time.

As noted by researcher of this topic Liudmila Kalmykova: "Any crisis is an internal contradiction between "want" and "can". That is, if whim when a child is upset due to the fact that he is asked to do something he doesn't want (or don't do what he needs), during the crisis the reason for his discontent is in disagreement with his opinion and desire to do it your way. And "differently" for two to three year olds is not the way I want others. For example, my child, seeing that I turn on the washing machine, wanted to do it myself, but didn't I already pressed the "start" button. The tears in my eyes, I reacted instantly by turning off the machine forcefully and saying that he will be able to include. But this son didn't need it, he continued to cry saying, "I'm Not going to turn!" That is, he still wants to do it, but don't do, since he, unexpectedly to himself, was allowed.

The road from prohibition to advertising

 

When the angel becomes unmanageable bully

During this period it is very difficult to achieve from the child desired. So what to do, so that the situation was out of control? All allow? Of course, no. "The child grows up a real thief, if he allow. So I daughter not be denied," — approximate quote the words of Baba Yaga from kinoskazki. But to ban everything that you disagree, is not worth it. Otherwise, she might become weak-willed and easily controlled and all. Therefore it is advisable to decide for yourself that you can never do your child (to cross the road not by the hand, to throw food on the floor, etc.), and what you can afford (for example, I allow a little child to lie in the snow). At the same time try not to impose categorical bans a lot, at least to use the word "no", and always back up your words. So, my son has clearly learned that a lot of candy to eat not worth it, and he says "my teeth hurts". Believe me, if the child will understand the motivation, he wants to fulfill the requirement. Will greatly help in this method such as therapy. It has long been popular in the West, came to us relatively recently, but already managed to win the love of many mothers and professionals.

By the way, what does it mean to help?

When the angel becomes unmanageable bully

 It is important to understand that to help and make the work for the child are two different things. "I myself" or "I", you hear constantly from the child and see how he clumsily unzips her jacket or trying to pull a sock. We advise you not to disturb him in this – and what happens?! If not, he will ask you for help, and then together with him you will do it. We, for example, a jacket remove this: I undo the button, and the son — lightning. In the end, I am satisfied that the child is satisfied that he did it to himself.

In addition to the above, I'll share several more ways to achieve the necessary result from his child. When my son does not want to obey me, I sometimes use incentives – to the surprise of my friends, it works fine. For example, if you're going to go to bed – tomorrow I'll bake you a tasty pie with apples. I always fulfill the promise. But it is not valid at all, if you are the child that was not taught, do not expect that it will work. It takes time.

The eternal question: what to do?

 

When the angel becomes unmanageable bully

Well, if the worst happened and your child is crying offended, because they didn't get their act right. I call this the correct behavior that it would be nice to get a response; that is, treat the child the way you would like him to be with you.

1. Do not raise your voice (although sometimes it is very difficult to hold back) and don't punish the young person (if he has not done anything blatant).

2. Tell him that you understand why he's upset, ask what you need to do for him.

3. Spare him and promised to do something good (to play his favorite game or buy something tasty).

4. Try to shift his attention to something else that it is usually very interesting. We have the role of "switch" performs a great kitten. When the son sees it and starts to play with him, everything else fades into the background. If the kitten (birds, fish and other Pets) no, attention can attract big car or a dog outside the window, my favorite song or movie. In my experience and the experience of friends I can say that this method is the most efficient and therefore, you can say, popular.

5. Never scare a child and come out with all sorts of similar characters, scold, grab, or punish the capricious. He doesn't need to be afraid. Scare tactics – not close friends! Although one of my friend's doing a great job to make the child-nehochuha, for example, to eat this way. But for me this system is unacceptable.